Will You Marry Someone with Large Debts?

Wedding-rings-on-money

Photo Credit: http://loans.org

Did you find already your perfect partner? Are you decided to spend the rest of your life with him for better and for worst, for richer and for poorer? Are you really sure about that? What happens if you learn that your prince charming is actually living in large debts. Will you still marry him? Are you willing to be dragged in the same situation? Is it really worth the trouble?

People actually have different perspective when it comes to this scenario. For those who experienced the hardship of paying off the bills and the stress of trying to make ends meet, they will more likely not to pursue this wedding dream. They are afraid to be trapped again in the same situation.

Again, reactions will vary from one person to the other. There are many factors that will influence their decision. However before jumping into conclusion, here are few things that you can consider and hopefully will help you to make up your mind.

Be honest. For sure you will have many questions in your mind after learning that your partner has spiraling debts. Will it affect your future as a couple? Is he financially irresponsible? Does he possess bad spending habits? Until when he will be paying his debts? How can you start your savings and investments?

Stop guessing. Instead be honest with your concerns and talk these matters out to him directly. Perhaps he is already working on some payment plans that you are not aware of.

Assess the financial attitude. If the person is trapped in debts, it does not necessarily mean that he is financial irresponsible, right? Check the reasons behind. Maybe it was for the medical bills of his daughter or  a starting capital for a business that just didn’t workout well. But, the root cause can also be an exorbitant kind of lifestyle.

Assess his attitude towards finances. Is he frugal now? Does he think and justify first before making any big purchases? Does he buy things out of whim?

People make mistakes in life. Some learn the lessons and change while others remain the same. So before judging them for their debts, it is fair to know the reasons behind it. If he learns his lessons from the situation, then perhaps it is worth to give him a chance.

Sharing the same frame of mind. As a couple, it is difficult to plan ahead if you do not share the same perspective. You are fine with renting a small apartment until you have enough savings to purchase your own house. If your husband does not agree to this arrangement and he wants to avail housing loan for a grand house, then this really poses a problem.

It is best to be with someone who shares the same dispositions. It makes planning and achieving your financial goals a lot easier.

Offer a leeway. Give your fiancé a time to sort out his financial mess. Say, propose for two years for him to pay off his loans before tying the knot. It is always best to start your married life free from shackles of debts.

If your partner agrees to this arrangement, just make sure also that you are giving your 101% support. Don’t  ask for expensive gifts when you know that he is trying to live below his means for the purpose of paying off his bills soon.

Now, will you still marry your partner who is burdened with spiraling debts? No one really can decide on that but you. Think and decide wisely.

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2 Responses to Will You Marry Someone with Large Debts?

  1. Stef says:

    Ooo, this is a good one and I can speak to it from experience. When I met my husband we were both in school and we really didn’t know much about each other’s finances. After dating for 6 months and graduating thereafter we got serious and that’s when he decided to let me know about his large student loan debts. He did not come from fortunate circumstances as I did and had to pay his way through college himself. I admired him for this, but expressed my concern and asked why’s and how’s. His spending habits were formed from his family and friends and weren’t that great, but he quickly saw that those who had more, spent much less in order to have more. I showed him how to shop and where I went to buy clothes and why cooking at home more was important for health and our wallet. On top of this, he is a very hard worker and wanted to feel like he could breath under his student loan debt. We now both do very well with a master’s and doctoral degree and keep each other in check with a budget and financial goals so that we can be out of all student loan debt within another 2 years.

    I think if the person acknowledges their problem with money and is willing to change, it should not hold you back from marriage. Of course, we dated for 4-5 years before we tied the knot so we really got to know each other’s spending habits and see if his would change, which they did.

    Like

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